It’s Fromage Friday
And I Can’t Eat Cheese
Yesterday, I sat down to write my Fromage Friday post. I had completed all the research and organized a rough draft. But when I began to type my tasting notes, my fingers fell from my keyboard and a sense of emptiness drained my body of all vibrancy and happiness. I realized that I could not finish my weekly Fromage Friday, because I was no longer under the influence of the blessed drug that fills my life with fulfillment and purpose, cheese. You might not know this, but one of the major side effects of anesthesia is constipation. I mean real constipation, not the kind you feel after Thanksgiving because you ate too many mashed potatoes. My stomach is not digesting food. Anything I send down there gets lost in some grim dungeon of purgatory – a place I can’t bare to send holy cheese.
You can’t eat dairy when you’re constipated. It’s like eating a chili when you have heartburn. For the first week after my surgery, I tried to eat normally. Things were slow, but I had hope that it was just a waiting game. When things were still bad early this week, I knew I had to do something. Because pooping really matters to me. It’s the best part of my day. My doctor suggested Miralax, but downing a glass of weird cloudy water is really gross. Nonetheless, I had to do it, so I found a solution in a smoothie.
Are you disgusted? Does the reality of the human experience make you uncomfortable? Too bad, this is real life and I’m not going to sugar coat it because sugar is bad for digestion. If any of you have to go through what I am going through right now, I want you to know that I feel your suffering and I want to help. Just relax, drink the smoothie, let it do its magic. You will eat cheese again soon. These dark days will pass.
Banana Ginger Smoothie with Miralax
Makes 1 smoothie
- 3/4 cup almond milk
- 1 medium banana, frozen
- 1 tablespoon cashew butter
- 1/2 ” ginger, peeled and chopped
- 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
- 1/2 teaspoon turmeric
- 1/2 capful – full capful Miralax, depending on your needs.
Add all ingredients to the blender, and liquify. Serve with high fiber foods like dried fruits and nuts.Enjoy and good luck!