Look, Smell, Feel, Taste, Pair
For best results, start with room-temperature cheese.
Refrigeration dulls the flavor.
Don’t let this happen to you.
If you know these 5 cheese types you’ll be able to describe any cheese you’ve had
You’ll also know what kind of cheese you like most.
Even if you 🖤 all of them, this’ll come in handy when you’re trying to buy cheese.
Nearly any cheese fits into these 5 simple categories:
fresh, bloomy, washed, pressed, and blue.
What’s My Name? Humboldt Fog
What Kind of Cheese Am I? I’m an aged goat’s milk cheese with a thin layer of vegetable ash cutting through my center and nestled beneath my downy white rind.
Where Am I From? Humboldt County, California
Three Words That Describe Me: Breezy, graceful, and gothic
Fun Fact: I was conceived in a dream. My maker, Mary Keehn, awoke one morning with a vision of a cheese streaked with ash – a beautiful cheese that resembled the fog rolling in over the Humboldt County coastline. Take one nibble, and you’ll dream of me too 😘
What Do I Smell Like? Freshly ground white pepper
What Do I Feel Like? Dense pound cake.
What Do I Taste Like? Buttermilk and fresh thyme with a lemony tang
Favorite Foods: I like it a little bit sweet and a little bit salty. Try me with apples or pears, a drizzle of honey, freshly sliced prosciutto, and salted Marcona almonds. I’m quite comfy atop a salad of fresh greens, roast beets, and a balsamic vinaigrette, too.
Favorite Beverages: I’m a sucker for all things fruity, like pinot noir or rosé. I also love dark, rich sherries and nutty stouts. On sunny days, I crave a fizzy pale ale or a citrusy cocktail.🍷🍹🍺
Where to Find Me: I’m pretty easy to find at cheese shops, specialty food stores, and supermarkets like Whole Foods or even Jewel-Osco. I usually come by the wedge, but keep your eye out for miniature wheels, too!
What I’ll Cost You: About $26-30 a pound
Look for the label:
Special thanks to Cypress Grove for sending over a sample of me to the Cheese Sex Death headquarters!
Whether you’re pregnant, cutting down, or just don’t partake, you can still enjoy beverage and cheese pairings without alcohol. Some juices are just as complex and delicious as a fine wine, like those of Owen + Alchemy, my favorite in Chicago. I’m in love with their sexy apothecary aesthetic and cold-pressed juices made with ingredients that are truly farm-to-table. Each juice and kombucha is as delicious as it is nutritious and their packaging is really sexy. I chose a couple of their products to pair with the sensual goat cheeses from Cypress Grove in California.
Go ahead and indulge, it’ll be good for you.
What’s My Name? Camembert
What Kind of Cheese Am I? I’m a cow’s milk cheese with a white bloomy rind. I’m at my truest form when made with raw milk, but if you buy me in America I’m probably pasteurized.
Where Am I From? I’m born in Normandy, but countries all over the world are making their own versions of me.
Three Words That Describe Me: Funky, promiscuous, and supple.
Fun Fact: I look a lot like my cousin Brie, but don’t confuse us. I’m much more petite and lean, since I don’t have added cream like Brie does. I’ve also got a funkier flavor and a seductively gooey paste.
What Do I Smell Like? Wild mushrooms and barn.
What Do I Feel Like? Springy like memory foam.
What Do I Taste Like? Butter gone rogue and stanky
Favorite Foods: Fresh apples, dark honey, crusty baguette, and dried fruits like figs and apricots. If you’re feeling adventurous, tuck me into puff pastry and bake until I’m hot and runny.
Favorite Beverages: I love bubbly hard cider, light fruity reds, and champagne.
Where to Find Me: I’m pretty easy to find at supermarkets like Whole Foods and Mariano’s. Ask your local monger or specialty food’s store about local versions of me, too!
What I’ll Cost You: About $8-20 a wheel
Look for the label:
Special thanks to Peterson Cheese for sending over a sample of me to the Cheese Sex Death headquarters!
It’s officially autumn and I’m ready to cuddle up under a blanket of melted cheese! This baked St Albans cheese is as easy to make as turning on your oven. The petite wheel comes tucked and tidy in an oven-proof ceramic crock.
She’s practically begging for you to bake her into an oozing puddle of warm, silky fondue.
All you need is something for dipping
and maybe a drizzle of honey for fun.
What’s My Name? St Albans, a new cheese from Vermont Creamery
What Kind of Cheese Am I? I’m a soft cheese with a wrinkled bloomy rind – similar to my French cousin St. Marcellin. I’m made of pasteurized, GMO-free cow’s milk from Paul-Lin Dairy in Bakersfield, Vermont.
Where Am I From? Born and raised in Websterville, Vermont.
Three Words That Describe Me: Doll-faced, voluptuous, lusty.
Fun Fact: I come in a little ceramic crock and love getting warm and runny in a hot oven.
What Do I Smell Like? Fresh button mushrooms and cream.
What Do I Feel Like? Satin throw pillows
What Do I Taste Like? Fresh Normandy butter on a yeasty baguette – trés française!
Favorite Foods: I like to keep things simple with crusty baguette, mild crackers, or fresh fruit. Try me with a drizzle of honey or melt me over roasted potatoes and serve with tiny pickles.
Favorite Beverages: I’m all about the bubbles! Try me with a glass of champagne or a French 75.
Where to Find Me: I’ll be popping up in cheese shops and grocery stores this October! Tell your local monger or specialty food store that you’re lusting after me so they can stock up.
What I’ll Cost You: $9-$11
Look for the Label:
Special thanks to Vermont Creamery for sending me over to the Cheese Sex Death headquarters!
I love cheesecake but I don’t have the skill or patience to bake one and I sure as hell am not turning on my oven in this sticky August heat. Cheesemonger Jordan Edwards of Pastoral in Chicago sent me this recipe for what is essentially
the world’s easiest cheesecake