CHEESE | SEX | DEATH

A Modern Guide for Cheese Lovers

Meet Bellamy Blue from Sequatchie Cove Creamery

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Bellamy Blue

I’m Sexy, Smoky, & Spooky

What’s My Name? Bellamy Blue

What Kind of Cheese Am I? A raw cow’s milk blue cheese rubbed with Alderwood smoked salt and cloaked in black wax

Where Am I From? Sequatchie, Tennessee

Three Words That Describe Me: Smoldering, moody, and a little nutty

Fun Fact: I’m named after Bellamy Cave, the world’s first manmade bat cave in northern Tennessee

What Do I Smell Like? Like fresh grass, with a whiff of charcoal embers

What Do I Feel Like? Moist and crumbly like a fudge brownie

What Do I Taste Like? Savory and robust, with lingering notes of roast peanuts

Favorite Foods: Keep me savory with cured meats, pickled vegetables, and olives.
Sweeten me up with dark honey, chocolate peanuts, or this banana jam. 

Favorite Beverages: I need something strong and bold like me.
Pour me a pint of oatmeal stout, port wine, or mild Scotch.

Where to Find Me: Look for me at specialty grocers like Whole Foods
or ask your nearest cheese shop if they carry me. You can also find local retailers here

Look for the label: 

Check out the Cheese Church video sermon on Bellamy Blue below! 

 

Special thanks to In Demand Cheese for sending over this beautiful wedge of Bellamy Blue!
Cheese Sex Death

How to Make the Perfect Grilled Cheese Sandwich (Video Demo)

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Perfect Grilled Cheese with Shallots and Thyme

This is the Closest Thing to a Porno
That I’ve Ever Made

A couple months ago,  I found out about a local competition called  “Channel Your Inner Chef”. There are two rounds: first, contestants submit a 5 minute cooking video that shows them preparing a meal with a starch, a protein, and a vegetable. Then, the top five winners compete in a live, Iron Chef-style cooking competition.

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How to Make Vegan Banana Soft Serve

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banana soft serve

Fact: SUGAR IS POISON.

LOL just kidding. Sugar does amazing things. I use it like salt, adding a pinch to enhance nearly every recipe I make. Tomato sauce? Yeah. Stir-fry? Duh. Spice rub? Of course. Unfortunately, as a result of what I’m assuming is a curse laid on me by way of my mother’s genetics, I have a horrible reaction to sugar. I’m not going to pretend to be a nutritionist and tell you what to eat, unlike some peeps in the blogosphere, but I think it’s safe to say that many American food products rely too heavily on sugar.

Let me keep it real here.

Fact: ice cream isn’t great for you.

You can’t survive on ice cream alone, even though a pint of Ben & Jerry’s is the best relief from an unemployment-induced depression, short of an actual job. You can’t actually live off of only frozen bananas either, but it’s healthier than ice cream. We all know bananas have potassium, and studies show that potassium-deficiency is linked to depression, mental fatigue, and mood swings. It’s possible that this soft serve might improve your mood, if only because it’s delicious and won’t constipate.

Ingredients //

  • 1 bunch overripe bananas, about 6 large bananas
  • what ever you finna mix in, like chocolate chips,
    cinnamon, frozen coconut milk, bourbon, or honey

Equipment //

  • A blender/food processor that doesn’t suck
  • Rubber spatula
  1. Peel your bananas and slice them into coins, 1/4″ to 1/2″. Keep them as even as you can, so they’ll break down at an even rate. Place inside a ziploc and freeze overnight.
  2. Put frozen bananas in the blender and puree. Scrap down the sides and repeat until the bananas magically transform into custardy silk. Fold in any mix-in you’re feeling.
  3. Transfer to tupperware and store in the freezer. Or, binge eat the soft-serve until your tears make it too salty. You can also make a salted caramel sauce with said tears, and fold that in before freezing to create ribbons of existential crisis. Delish!

Disclaimer: binge eating is not cool or healthy. I’m just trying to be funny so I feel better about being unemployed. Don’t do it.

banana soft serve

Cinnamon, nutmeg and a little coco nib action.