Make love to cheese
with your words
How much do you love cheese?
Does the sight of a ripe wedge make your heart sing?
Does a funky wheel of chèvre make your body tremble?
Tell me about it.
I’m calling on all you cheese lovers to proclaim
your deepest, wildest brie desires and feta fantasies
in one heartfelt haiku.
The sexiest, most passionate toe-curling entry
will win 5 sultry goat cheeses from Vermont Creamery,
pictured below.
For official rules,
start scrolling.
Those velvety, supple rinds…
… that rich, silken curd…
Oh chèvre…
won’t you brie mine,
forèvre?
Cheese Haiku Contest Rules//
- Write 1 haiku about how much you truly love cheese. The poem must have seventeen syllables, in three lines of five, seven, and five.
- Comment on this post with your submission by 11:59 PM on Monday, February 13th.
- The winner will be announced Tuesday, February 14th on instagram { follow @CheeseSexDeath }.
- Limit one entry per person.
Photography and styling by Danielle Fink
Cuore di neve
Sotto l’arida scorza.
Eppur m’incanti.
In English: Snowy heart hidden / beneath your tough and dry skin. / Yet thou bewitch me.
Nostrils slowly flare
olfactory overload
Epoisse my old friend
Roquefort, Gruyere, Chèvre
Washed rind, Gouda, and blue too
Pleasure eating you.
bitter creamy funk
anticipation riding
spread it on thickly
Rind over matter
I curdle with ecstasy
Brie, brie, brie, oh, brie
Rind over matter
I curdle with ecstasy
Brie, brie, brie, oh, brie
I watch you dripping,
slowly crawling closer still,
Briethe into me now.
Smooth buttery cream
Encase me in your sweet rind
Pungent love affair
Smooth, creamy, crumble.
Enticed tongues explore textures.
X-rated dairy.
Raw milk dreams made real
I take your rind into me
We ripen as one
Cheese, le petit mort-
Satisfying tongue, belly.
Eating, enjoying.
Love, I Camembert
The thought of choosing between
You and all the cheese
Licking lustfully
Quivering lips indulge
Vermont’s Creamery
Licking lustfully
Quivering lips indulging
Vermont’s Creamery
Mouthwatering, rich,
Succulent, pleasurable,
These are my cheese dreams.
“Camembert!” I scream.
Between my lips, fill my mouth
with your salted cream.
Congratulations Leah! Your haiku won – look for an email coming at you soon!
Geotrichum taste
And a silky ashen’d curd
Savor inside me
Brie Mine Forever
Let Us Grow Mold Together
Or I’ll lose my rind
Cheese and jam is lit
Best before and after Sex
Because cigs are Death
Should read BEST not BEAT. Oops.
No problem! I updated it for ya 🙂
Thank you!😁
My one true love, cheese
Can’t get enough of your cream
Don’t be such a tease
Lookin at this cheese
Gotta get it all in there
Get this cheese in me
In private, we meet
Away from the prying eyes
I spread you on top
All else melts away
The moment you touch my tongue
Bijou of my heart
the whey you melted
once on a dairy basis
gruyére after year….
Cheese, how I love you
You make my food taste better
Can’t live without you!
bounty of the farmland
wisdom of the artisan
creamy decadence
This one had an extra syllable. The one below is corrected!
Got it – thank you for submitting!
bounty of the farm
wisdom of the artisan
creamy decadence
like it soft, firm, hard?
see, touch, taste, moan, crave it more
seduced by dairy
What you do for me
Melt. Spread. Dip. Crumble. Drizzle.
Then I must swallow
Curdeous Lover
That’s the whey, uh-huh uh-uh
Rennet flix and chill
Oh! Let me be me
I scream! I will let you bijou
Whey. Curds. Separate
Ah, Epoisses, your funk
Brings me to my knees to tongue
Your creamy ripeness.
I open you wide
And lick your moist pungency,
Oh dearest Cremont.
Cheese. Weak in the knees.
Sweet curd; something so absurd.
Let me eat you up.
On my tongue, each one
(Silken fresh or aged rind)
Meets their little death
Sliced, spread, chunked, or cubed
Your form matters not, my love
Just that you’re consumed
Melted, raw, grated…
I only dream to have you
Any way you want it.
Any way you want*
Every night I dream
Of cutting your creamy curds
And slurping your whey
Runny Camembert.
My kitty has learned to knit
Though that goes unnoticed
Hot breath against your
Velvet Candidum belly.
Cream drips from my tongue.
Saintly St. Albans
When you’re hot, your divine curd
Is downright sinful
It’s better alone,
Free to this embarrassment:
Licking my fingers.
ooooooooo
I pull you closer
Cram your cream inside of me
My knife to your throat
Hard Pecorino
Ignites my Taleggio
Terroirs meld as one…