A good Halloween cheese plate is way sexier than any nurse or school girl costume. All cheeses have a goth side, with all those weird, wrinkly rinds, pumpkin-orange colors, and funky smells, so it’s actually really easy to spook up your platter. You just need a few creepy adornments. Here are a couple tricks and treats for putting together a perfect Halloween cheese plate. Disclaimer: links below contain Amazon Affiliates $$$.
How to Build a Halloween Cheese Plate
Halloween is my favorite holiday, and of course, I always celebrate it with a festive cheese platter. They’re easy to put together, and even if you’re someone who hates dressing up, no one will even notice if you bring a spooky cheese plate to the party. Here’s how to put together the most macabre cheese plate in 3 simple steps.
1. Choose 3 – 6 goth cheeses.
All cheese is naturally cryptic: they spend their youth aging in cold dark cellars, much like a crypt, where they are left to decay and mold. However, certain cheeses are extra scary looking. Here are some of my favorites:
- Pumpkin-orange, mite-ripened Mimolette
- Bone-white goats cheese with a shadow-y streak of ash, like Humboldt Fog from Cypress Grove
- Clothbound Cheddars, which are wrapped with muslin cloth before aging like a mummy
- Wrinkled, brainy rinds like Coupole from Vermont Creamery
- Spruce-wrapped cheeses like Harbison, which evoke a Blair Witch vibe
Want more goth cheeses? Check out this article I did for Unquiet Things on my 10 favorite goth cheeses.
2. Put your cheese on a tomb-like slate, then get creepy with pairings!
As with the cheeses, anything eerie goes. Choose one pairing for each cheese and place them near the cheese they’ll taste best with.
- Blood-red jams, especially with alabaster cheeses
- Dried figs, which look like shrunken heads
- Crunchy pumpkin seeds
- Dark, gothic charcoal crackers
- Actual flesh (AKA charcuterie, like prosciutto)
- Halloween candy, as long as it’s not so sweet that it overwhelms the cheese
3. Finish with haunting accents.
Here’s where it gets really creepy. Garnish your spooky Halloween cheese plate with cryptic decorations, such as:
- Little pumpkins
- Plastic spider rings
- Gauze and spider web
- Fake rats and bats
- Skeleton hands
- Tomb cheese markers
- Cheese knives (one for every cheese that needs one!)
Lastly, pick your poison. Choose something easy-going enough to pair with all of your cheeses, like a fruity pinot noir, a dry cider, or spiced winter ale, and serve it in a goblet. Feast like a beast and enjoy!
Want more cheese plate tips?