Go ahead and take my top off.
What’s My Name? Greensward
What Kind of Cheese Am I? I’m a pasteurized cow’s milk cheese wrapped in spruce bark and bathed in hard cider.
Three Words That Describe Me: Popular, charming, and promiscuous
Fun Fact: I was made specifically for Eleventh Madison Park in Manhattan and named after the Greensward Plan, which was the original blueprint for Central Park.
What Do I Smell Like? Pine trees and beef stock.
What Do I Feel Like? Tempered frosting.
What Do I Taste Like? Custard, bacon, and forest.
Favorite Foods: All I need is a warm, crusty baguette. If you’re looking to schmooze, set up a platter of rustic salmi, mustard, and pickles.
Favorite Beverages: I like ’em strong, think bold double IPA’s and rich Manhattans.
Where to Find Me: I’m available exclusively at Murray’s Cheese.
What I’ll Cost You: $30 per wheel
Special thanks to Murray’s Cheese for sending me over to the Cheese Sex Death headquarters!