Teaming up with Maplewood Brewing for the sexiest beer and cheese pairing that has ever graced the Logan Square area. Let me guide your hand as we make our way through 6 cheese pairings, including a cocktail pairing and 4 beers, ending with a mind-blowing dance of aged whiskey and a dessert cheese the likes of which your tongue has never seen! It’ll be one hell of a sensual experience.
Make Cheese Plates Your Masterpiece
A good cheese plate is more than just a snacking board: it’s a reason to gather, a conversation-starter, a masterpiece. Knowing how to build a ravishing platter is an important skill for any cheese slut to master. And it’s a lot easier to put together an impressive spread than you think. Here’s how to build a cheese plate in 6 simple steps.
Cheese and Beer 4Eva
Spruce Up That Cheese Plate
Ain’t nothing sexier than a woodsy, spoonable, bark-wrapped cheese, especially on a crisp autumn evening. These guys originated in the Alps, where, once fall hits, dairy cows switch their diet from fresh grasses to hay, which makes their milk much richer. When you turn that rich milk into cheese, it tends to get so soft and runny that the wheels fall apart. To keep them intact, farmers wrap them in a strip of spruce bark—which also lends a sweet, piney quality to the cheese, kind of like what happens to whiskey in an oak barrel.
There are tons of different spruce-wrapped cheeses to try, from European classics like Vacherin Mont d’Or and Forsterkäse, to American varieties like Rush Creek Reserve or this Greensward here. Each of these, of course, has its own unique flavors, but almost all share hints of bacon and a cozy aroma of pinecones. Whichever variety you choose, the best way to indulge in this orgasmic flavorgy is by taking her top off and diving straight into her custardy center.
Here’s how to serve spruce-wrapped cheese in three simple steps.
You Sexy Thang
That crusty baguette is brimming with cake-y chèvre,
silky prosciutto, spicy mustard, and softened butter.
Bring this sultry sammy to work and have an afternoon delight,
or take her on a picnic for a little outdoor seduction.
Wherever you take her, she’s sure to satisfy your beastly cravings.
The Marilyn Monroe of Mozzarella
burrata has summer lovin’ written all over her.
Simply a ball of mozzarella stuffed with cream-soaked mozzarella shreds,
she’s so voluptuous that her name means “buttered” in Italian.
An Italian Cream Dream
La Tur is an Italian robiola-style of cheese that looks like a cupcake. It’s blessed with a captivating mix of textures: the center is dense and cakey, cushioned by a layer of frosting-like ooze and a pillowy-rind. It’s a total butterball with enough complexity to keep you constantly yearning for another lick.
Indulge Your Munchies!
For this special day, I took our relationship to the next level and stuffed them inside a grilled cheese.
It’s crunchy, gooey, spicy, and dope AF. Go ahead, treat yourself.
More OG than Stilton Himself
It’s Cheese Sex Death’s 3rd Birthday!
How does one start a blog called Cheese Sex Death?
A lot of people ask me how I became a full-time cheese preacher,
going from enthusiastic eater to grating Parmigiano
directly into my mouth for thousands of followers.
It’s been a bumpy little ride, with lots of ups and downs and utter failures.
Let me take you through it.