Cheese and Beer 4Eva
Ain’t nothing sexier than a woodsy, spoonable, bark-wrapped cheese, especially on a crisp autumn evening. These guys originated in the Alps, where, once fall hits, dairy cows switch their diet from fresh grasses to hay, which makes their milk much richer. When you turn that rich milk into cheese, it tends to get so soft and runny that the wheels fall apart. To keep them intact, farmers wrap them in a strip of spruce bark—which also lends a sweet, piney quality to the cheese, kind of like what happens to whiskey in an oak barrel.
There are tons of different spruce-wrapped cheeses to try, from European classics like Vacherin Mont d’Or and Forsterkäse, to American varieties like Rush Creek Reserve or this Greensward here. Each of these, of course, has its own unique flavors, but almost all share hints of bacon and a cozy aroma of pinecones. Whichever variety you choose, the best way to indulge in this orgasmic flavorgy is by taking her top off and diving straight into her custardy center.
Here’s how to serve spruce-wrapped cheese in three simple steps.
That crusty baguette is brimming with cake-y chèvre,
silky prosciutto, spicy mustard, and softened butter.
Bring this sultry sammy to work and have an afternoon delight,
or take her on a picnic for a little outdoor seduction.
Wherever you take her, she’s sure to satisfy your beastly cravings.
La Tur is an Italian robiola-style of cheese that looks like a cupcake.
It’s blessed with a captivating mix of textures: the center is dense and cakey,
cushioned by a layer of frosting-like ooze and a pillowy-rind.
It’s a total butterball with enough complexity
to keep you constantly yearning for another lick.
How does one start a blog called Cheese Sex Death?
A lot of people ask me how I became a full-time cheese preacher,
going from enthusiastic eater to grating Parmigiano
directly into my mouth for thousands of followers.
It’s been a bumpy little ride, with lots of ups and downs and utter failures.
Let me take you through it.
Having the necessities to whip up a platter at any time is essential to the cheese slut lifestyle.
Whether for an impromptu gathering or just to treat yourself to dinner,
you’ll be prepared if you keep stocked with something from each category below.
These are the four cheese board essentials I always have on hand.
Triple creams are the most crowd-pleasing cheeses out there.
They’re made with added cream and have a fat content of 75%* or more,
creating a texture as plush and yielding as softened butter.
One of my fav triple creams is Mt Tam from Cowgirl Creamery in Petaluma, California.