A Little Something to Cozy Up With
Happy Summer, Cheese Sluts!
Time to celebrate over a big ole cheese plate filled with ripe berries and crisp veggies.
Grayson from Meadow Creek Dairy
Pudgy Washed Rinds
These guys are as voluptuous as a ripe wedge of brie, but they won’t melt in the sun.
They just sort of relax and get jiggly, like a perfectly toasted marshmallow.
Take them on a picnic with baguette and a couple berries.
but a young hunk of block cheddar leaks out less moisture and becomes flexible rather than rigid.
Get kinky with a pepper-infused or smoked variety and eat with summer sausage and cold beer.
It also doesn’t sweat much, unlike cow’s and sheep’s milk varieties that tend to get weirdly moist.
Get something local if you can; fresh cheeses are at their sexiest when devoured soon after they’re made.
Look for blues that crumble instead of spread, like Mountain Gorgonzola or Bay Blue from Point Reyes.
Serve with fresh cherries and oatmeal cookies.
me samples of the cheeses pictured in the cheese plate above!
This One’s For The Olive Sluts
to infuse a cocktail with cheese.
It’s briny, it’s funky, and it’s exxxtra dirty.
If you love blue cheese olives as much as I do,
you should really start making them at home.
Because at home, you can choose your own cheese.
More OG than Stilton Himself
Live Your Best Cheese Plate Life
Having the necessities to whip up a platter at any time is essential to the cheese slut lifestyle.
Whether for an impromptu gathering or just to treat yourself to dinner,
you’ll be prepared if you keep stocked with something from each category below.
These are the four cheese board essentials I always have on hand.
Poppin’ Bottles, Cuttin’ Cheese
Conjuring Cheese Pairings
Last night I taught a cheese and witchcraft class in my hometown Chicago.
That might seem a little weird at first: how exactly does cheese relate to witchcraft?
Obviously cheese makes anything taste like magick,
but the relationship between the two doesn’t stop there.
Cheese also has a magickal history.
Throughout history, dairy maids were accused of witchcraft when their cows
produced particularly abundant milk or their cheeses were wicked tasty.
Others were accused of cursing their neighbor’s cheese production
when their yields were poor or their cows went dry.
People have also used cheese in rituals and offerings as a symbol of prosperity.
Some have read rind formations, as one would tea leaves.
In Icelandic folklore, male cheesemakers would mark their wheels
and send them off to maidens, who, upon eating it, would fall in love with them.
And finally, cheese has long been paired with magickal herbs, fruits, and drinks
and eaten with an intention to cast a spell.
The relation makes sense: there is something fundamentally magickal about cheese.
The shapeshifting transformation from milk to curd appears miraculous.
Cheese possesses the power to seduce us and leave us craving more.
It puts us under a spell.
Here are 5 of the witchiest cheeses to spook up
your Halloween cheese platter.
I would like it explained to me in writing
what’s so great about apple butter.
– Tina Fey, Bossypants
I’ve been searching for the answer to this ever since
I first read Tina’s memoire, Bossypants.
Surely, it’s not as good as real butter. Nothing is.
It’s basically just grown up apple sauce. What’s the point?
It wasn’t until I first smeared a small chunk of cheddar
with the stuff that I discovered the answer.
So here you go, Tina: apple butter, which is result of boiling
the souls of many apples with harvest spices, is fantastic with cheese.
The soft, velvety texture cloaks your palate in sweet, spicy autumnal flavors,
cradling all hunks of cheese from creamy and funky to salty and crumbly.
A good apple butter will truly enhance nearly any cheese,
like the accoutrement version of a sexy halloween costume.
I recommend making it yourself. It’s pretty easy and you can choose your own spices.
Here are a couple of my favorite pairings
to tease you before you go play yourself.
How to Become a Blue Cheese Lover
I have a feeling a lot of people who hate blue cheese just haven’t had the right one.
A good blue is salty, creamy, decadent and heavenly…
but that signature funk is too kinky for virgin palates.
Adding butter to blue cheese is kind of like putting fur on handcuffs.
The extra fat smooths out the cheese’s pungent flavor,
carrying it across your palate and softening the blow.
This butter will groom your tastebuds,
seducing them into the pleasures
of funky blue cheese.