Make Cheese Plates Your Masterpiece
A good cheese plate is more than just a snacking board: it’s a reason to gather, a conversation-starter, a masterpiece. Knowing how to build a ravishing platter is an important skill for any cheese slut to master. And it’s a lot easier to put together an impressive spread than you think. Here’s how to build a cheese plate in 6 simple steps.
Why Is Cheese So Expensive?
There are two kinds of cheeses in America: there are the inexpensive, industrially produced cheeses like the cheddar at the supermarket, and then there are the more expensive, artisan cheese at fancier cheese counters. For a long time the industrial stuff dominated our cheese scene, but recently we Americans have set their sights on the sexy artisan stuff. The people have spoken, and they want good cheese.
There are cheeses out there that are both quality and affordable, and I’ve detailed those below for you, but first let’s discuss why the good stuff costs so much in the first place. It’s all about basic economics: artisan cheesemaking requires a lot more resources and it produces a lot less product. Here’s a breakdown of what you’re paying for when you buy the good shit:
A cheese for every sign in the zodiac and also what to pair with it.
Cheese and Beer 4Eva
Spruce Up That Cheese Plate
Ain’t nothing sexier than a woodsy, spoonable, bark-wrapped cheese, especially on a crisp autumn evening. These guys originated in the Alps, where, once fall hits, dairy cows switch their diet from fresh grasses to hay, which makes their milk much richer. When you turn that rich milk into cheese, it tends to get so soft and runny that the wheels fall apart. To keep them intact, farmers wrap them in a strip of spruce bark—which also lends a sweet, piney quality to the cheese, kind of like what happens to whiskey in an oak barrel.
There are tons of different spruce-wrapped cheeses to try, from European classics like Vacherin Mont d’Or and Forsterkäse, to American varieties like Rush Creek Reserve or this Greensward here. Each of these, of course, has its own unique flavors, but almost all share hints of bacon and a cozy aroma of pinecones. Whichever variety you choose, the best way to indulge in this orgasmic flavorgy is by taking her top off and diving straight into her custardy center.
Here’s how to serve spruce-wrapped cheese in three simple steps.
The Rules of Cheese Care Are Simple and Finite
Every Cheese Slut Should Know
It doesn’t take much to keep your cheese feeling fresh and flirty.
Follow these 5 simple rules to store your cheese the right way.
The Marilyn Monroe of Mozzarella
burrata has summer lovin’ written all over her.
Simply a ball of mozzarella stuffed with cream-soaked mozzarella shreds,
she’s so voluptuous that her name means “buttered” in Italian.
Cheese, Dripping with EVOO
When the sun is beating down and leaving our wedges sweaty,
it’s time to bring out the marinated cheese.
Preserving cheese in oil isn’t just refreshing and tasty,
it can even bring the life back to dried-out wedges in your fridge.
It also makes for a seductive soiree with
warm ciabatta, fresh arugula, and chilled rosé.
You’re going to want to eat this all summer long.
Here’s how to make yourself some marinated cheese in 3 steps.…
Toe-Curling Pleasure, Guaranteed
In other words, if the label says “Comté,” it’s going to rock your world no matter where you find it.