Cheese Sex Death

We Have Been Blessed with the Bible of Cheese Porn

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Tia Keenan - Melt, Stretch, & Sizzle

Photo by Noah Fecks

The Bible of Cheese Porn Hath Arrived

The legen-dairy Tia Keenan has just blessed us with Melt, Stretch, & Sizzle: The Art of Cooking Cheese, a veritable bible of cheese porn that dropped this week. You’ve probably seen Tia’s work on Bon Appetit, like this very sexy potato chip and cheese pairing guide. She also wrote this little gem about how cheese and sex are better in the morning, one of my all-time favorite articles about cheese. 

Tia is a personal hero of mine. She has been writing about cheese for years, and her work has always been a major source of inspiration for me. Her latest book is littered with hot n’ saucy shots of gooey cheese and arousing recipes for mastering the melt in all its forms. It’s basically an all-purpose guidebook to maneuvering the sensual world of hot cheese.

I normally don’t post interviews on here, but when Tia reached out with some sexy outtakes from her cheese sex journal, I just couldn’t resist. We sat down together to get the dirty details on her inspiration behind this cheese porn bible, to discuss her favorite cheeses at the moment, and to learn what her last meal on earth would be. Scroll down for a little Q&A. 

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Meet Grayson, from Meadow Creek Dairy

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Grayson from Meadow Creek Dairy

Let’s Get Funked Up

What’s My Name? Grayson

What Kind of Cheese Am I? I’m a washed-rind cheese made with raw cow’s milk

Where Am I From? Meadow Creeky Dairy in Galax, Virgina

Three Words That Describe Me: Brawny, smoldering, and persuasive

Fun Fact: I’m made with only the best spring and summer milk, so you can only get a piece of me 9 months out of the year

What Do I Look Like? I have an auburn rind and a golden paste

What Do I Smell Like? Like your feet after a hot summer day in your nastiest sneakers

What Do I Feel Like? Silky, pudgy custard with a sticky, slightly crunchy rind

What Do I Taste Like?  An explosion of minestrone soup – all beef stock, onions, and a kick of malt vinegar

Favorite Foods: Worship me with juicy grapes or dried figs with mild crackers. Get me some dark bread and pickles and I’ll rock your world. But definitely try me naked first; I’m already the whole package.

Favorite Beverages: I’m always craving malty brown ales, but don’t be afraid to break out some pricey port, too. I’m worth it.

Where to Find Me: I’m available from late spring until wintertime. Ask your local cheesemonger where to find a wedge.