Fact: SUGAR IS POISON.
LOL just kidding. Sugar does amazing things. I use it like salt, adding a pinch to enhance nearly every recipe I make. Tomato sauce? Yeah. Stir-fry? Duh. Spice rub? Of course. Unfortunately, as a result of what I’m assuming is a curse laid on me by way of my mother’s genetics, I have a horrible reaction to sugar. I’m not going to pretend to be a nutritionist and tell you what to eat, unlike some peeps in the blogosphere, but I think it’s safe to say that many American food products rely too heavily on sugar.
Let me keep it real here.
Fact: ice cream isn’t great for you.
You can’t survive on ice cream alone, even though a pint of Ben & Jerry’s is the best relief from an unemployment-induced depression, short of an actual job. You can’t actually live off of only frozen bananas either, but it’s healthier than ice cream. We all know bananas have potassium, and studies show that potassium-deficiency is linked to depression, mental fatigue, and mood swings. It’s possible that this soft serve might improve your mood, if only because it’s delicious and won’t constipate.
- 1 bunch overripe bananas, about 6 large bananas
- what ever you finna mix in, like chocolate chips,
cinnamon, frozen coconut milk, bourbon, or honey
- A blender/food processor that doesn’t suck
- Rubber spatula
- Peel your bananas and slice them into coins, 1/4″ to 1/2″. Keep them as even as you can, so they’ll break down at an even rate. Place inside a ziploc and freeze overnight.
- Put frozen bananas in the blender and puree. Scrap down the sides and repeat until the bananas magically transform into custardy silk. Fold in any mix-in you’re feeling.
- Transfer to tupperware and store in the freezer. Or, binge eat the soft-serve until your tears make it too salty. You can also make a salted caramel sauce with said tears, and fold that in before freezing to create ribbons of existential crisis. Delish!
Disclaimer: binge eating is not cool or healthy. I’m just trying to be funny so I feel better about being unemployed. Don’t do it.